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Christmas is a conundrum for most people. It's like a rich, octogenarian uncle. You love him, he's insanely funny and provocative, he gives you really nice presents and just might leave you an Italian villa in his will. But he needs to be taken to the bathroom regularly, requires a lot of attention, is opinionated and makes you absolutely crazy when you have to take him to a fancy cocktail party because you never know when he'll pass gas or say something really outrageous, both of which he does loudly.
On the one hand, we all have some gleeful anticipation of the season - the silly and heart-warming movies and TV specials, the decorations, kids singing carols at the mall and all those paid days off. And on the other hand, many of us dread the pressure and pace of Christmas cards, shopping, the crowds, and ultimately (gulp) the obligatory family gatherings.
This social psychosis complicates the season enough, but when you add in the rhetoric from the religious community - The War on Christmas, Jesus is the Reason for the Season, etc. - you introduce even deeper layers of self-condemnation and anxiety. What to do, what to do?
A good starting point is to unravel the multi-layered hairball of traditions and religious implications that have come to define Christmas. Like most of our modern heritage, there's more to this kaleidoscopic than meets the eye. Once we can see what all is going on, then maybe we can bring some sanity and fun to the celebration of it.
The History of Christmas. Actually, we're talking about the History of the Winter Solstice celebrations, which date back over 4000 years. Most of our "Christmas traditions" were originally rituals celebrated centuries before Christ was born. The giving of gifts, carnivals, parades, carolers going from house to house, holiday feasts, and church performances can all be traced back to the early Mesopotamians (1500 BC).
Persians, Babylonians, Scandinavians, Greeks, Romans and Egyptians all had elaborate rituals that were celebrated at the Winter Solstice intended to pay tribute to the mythological importance of the sun and to the perennial cycles of nature. But, don't be too quick to dismiss the ancient traditions as being simply pagan rituals. In fact, they were VERY spiritually oriented.
It is true that the peoples that populated what is now the Middle East 3000 years before Christ were polytheistic - they had numerous gods. But they were also VERY religious. A large part of their culture was focused on seeking to learn the will of the gods, and the early Winter Solstice traditions reflected that focus. The Romans decked the halls with holly and candles as a tribute to one of their most powerful gods, Apollo. The Scandinavians built huge bonfires and held feasts that lasted for days as a way to help their sun-god defeat the power of darkness. These bonfires and feasts are the beginnings of our famous "Yule" log - the "12 days of Yuletide" was a lengthy ceremony which heralded the power of their gods over the domain of evil.
These beautiful ceremonies and ancient traditions all sought to do what our modern Christian traditions now do - celebrate the dominion of the supernatural forces of the cosmos over the earthly world of man. They sought to honor their gods, and sometimes even assist them, in the ongoing battle over darkness.
So, Who Put The "Christ" In Christmas In the First Place? Well, now, that's an interesting, and not fully complete, historical detective story. The most popular conclusion by archeologists, biblical scholars and anthropologists, is that the pagan traditions were co-opted by the early Christian Church. In the first three hundred years after the death of Christ, there was no prescribed "feast" for the occasion of Christ's birth. This was partly because no one actually knew when or where Christ was born and partly because the major Christian celebration was the Crucifixion and Resurrection. Some local monasteries and churches had their own "birthday" celebrations at different times of the year, but it wasn't until the mid-4th Century AD that Christ's birth became an official celebration, complete with a specific date.
Why did it happen then? Getting the diverse peoples of the Roman empire to reject their historical religions and raucous merriment in favor of the official religion of Christianity (so decreed in 350 AD) was no easy matter. Grudgingly, but inevitably, the church accepted the perennial revelry of its diverse citizenry (pagan though it was) and wisely decided to include those celebrations for their own agenda. In what many historians consider to be a stroke of public relations genius, in 320 AD, Pope Julius I proclaimed that the pagan celebration of the December 25th "Festival of the Sun" (Natalis Invicti, i.e. "The Nativity" ) would henceforth also celebrate the Birth of Christ - ta da! Enter the Official Birth Day of Christ.
According to the Catholic Encyclopedia The Advent, by 402 AD the "Feast of the Birth of Christ" (the new interpretation of The Nativity) was practiced through out the Holy Roman Empire. The Nativity scene itself (you know, the livestock, the stable, etc.) didn't emerge for another 800 years. In 1223, St Francis of Assisi originated the manger scene based on his interpretation of some little-known ecclesiastical customs. Somewhere around this time, the donkey that Mary rode to Bethlehem emerged as a character in the Nativity.
But, from its inception, there was dissension within the Church about Christmas celebrations. For centuries, many conservative church leaders condemned the revelry and aggressively criticized the endorsement of the sun-worshippers traditions. When the Orthodox pilgrims migrated to the Americas in 1620, Christmas revelry and symbolism were outlawed. Back in England in 1645, Oliver Cromwell and his Puritans succeeded in outlawing "the heathen traditions" of Christmas celebrations throughout England. When Charles II returned to the English throne in 1660, he restored the popular holiday, but the custom had only scattered endorsement throughout the American colonies. After the Revolutionary War, many English customs, including the celebration of Christmas, fell out of favor entirely and didn't begin to re-emerge in the United State until the 1800s.
When Americans did finally begin to embrace Christmas as a family holiday, old customs were unearthed. In the next 100 years, Americans built a Christmas tradition all their own that included pieces of many other customs, including decorating trees, sending holiday cards, gift-giving and the early Christian traditions and stories. In 1836, Alabama became the first state in the US to declare Christmas a legal holiday, but it wasn't until 1907 that Oklahoma finally joined the club and became the last state to do so. Christmas was declared an official US holiday in 1870. The first "official" use of Christmas decorations to lure in shoppers was at a NYC department store in 1900.
So what does that mean today? Basically, it means that there is no historical "truth" to any of the familiar observations we've come to embrace, whether we're talking about the pagan celebrations or the religious ones. They are all made up. Not much sense in fighting, or fretting, over any of them if you ask me.
No One Has Taken The Christ Out Of Christmas. He's still there if you want Him to be, but it never has been His private domain. What's the problem? The Church snaked on the pagans to begin with, and it was a pretty successful strategy. Today, more people around the world practice the Christian traditions than ever before. Isn't that enough? Remember, the Romans tried for about 1,000 years to make Christmas a purely Christian holiday and all they did was divide and antagonize the millions of people for whom it means something different. Don't make the mistake that old Cromwell made. Go ahead and have it your way, it's a beautiful tradition. But, let everyone else enjoy it their way.
Yes, Christmas Is Also About the Money. And for those who shake their heads with disgust about the commercialization of it, you guys need a quick reality check. Christmas shopping is the single most significant economic cycle in America. Hundreds of thousands of businesses rely on if for their very existence. From a commercial health point of view, if it didn't already exist, someone would need to invent it. The money that gets spent around Christmas, for everything from twinkley little lights to airline tickets and pretty new cars is the fuel that keeps our economy plugging along all year. Forget the new homes, it's the HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS of dollars spent at Christmas that keep America economically strong.
Christmas has a huge positive impact on other aspects of our culture. People are nicer and more tolerant. There have been truces and cease fire's called during times of war for the sake of Christmas. More than half the charitable donations collected for ALL organizations in the US roll in during the Christmas season. Yes, I know, some of that has to do with end of year tax breaks, but it also has to do with Salvation Army red kettles, angle trees, and Goodwill donations. It's a time of year when people feel a greater sense of social conscience and charitable organizations benefit from that feeling of good will. Too bad we don't pony up all year through the way we do at Christmas.
What's wrong with people paying more attention to each other, or with being delighted by the decorations and the music? Let's cover our yards with blow up Santas and mechanical reindeer. Let's turn our living rooms into little magical wonderlands of jolly old elves and candles and angels. Maybe if we spent more time getting in touch with the kid in ourselves we wouldn't have so much interest in polluting the planet and killing people who have different political or religious views than we do. Who cares why we have this expanded consciousness of good will? Whether it comes from a belief in a particular God (or gods) or whether it is simply a willingness to open ourselves up to the most benevolent parts of our nature, what difference does it make? IT'S ALL MADE UP! Anything that elevates man's humanity to man is a GOOD thing, no matter where it comes from!
Now, about that family stuff. I know it can be a pain in the ass. But, you know what? At some core level, we all long for a connection to our roots and our past. Is it so much to ask of ourselves to set aside our electro-media-stimulus-fast paced-gotta-pay-the-rent-on-the-beach-condo-somebody-please-entertain-me addiction to the very things that destroy the peace and harmony in our lives? C'mon, you've got 364 other days that you can obsess over getting ahead and being good enough and worrying about every little ounce you put on this year. You can afford to spend a fraction of your oh-so-important agenda getting in touch with your bloodline. Even if they're all intolerable ass-holes, so what? Practice forgiveness and acceptance.
If you don't want to send Christmas cards, don't. The mailman will love you. The way I see it, anyone who keeps a check-list of who sent Christmas cards and then makes some kind of judgment about it needs to get a real life. And as for all that pressure to buy gifts... GET OVER IT! It isn't going to kill you to get off your butt and think about other peoples delight. And speaking of butts, it isn't going to kill you to stop kissing those of people you don't really want to buy gifts for but do. Buy gifts for people you want to buy them for and be as generous as you want to be. If you don't want to buy a gift, don't. Sometimes it may be appropriate to make some type of gesture, but there are LOTS of things you can do other than buy the latest electronic gadget or such. Flowers, plants, candy or fruit work great. And you can always make a donation to YOUR favorite charity in the other person's name. The No. 1 Rule is to have fun with your gift buying and put some personal thought into it. The No. 2 Rule is - NO SUFFERING ALLOWED! (By the way, if you happen to think that books make a nice Christmas gift, then I've got a great one for you. Check out my book at "Your MEGAgiNormous Rules .)
The "Time" Complaint. Not enough time, too much to do, blah, blah, blah. Look here, if you don't have enough time to have fun at Christmas you're just confused about what's important. I'm pretty sure that when you're lying on your deathbed one of the things you WON'T be saying is "Gee, I wish I'd spent more time at the office and less time enjoying Christmas." There are 525,600 minutes in a year, only about 1500 of which get devoted to really enjoying Christmas. What, are you crazy? Surely you can fit your hectic life into the other 524,000 minutes.
Christmas is too big to be confined to any single ideology. It belongs to all people and to all of history. It has endured for thousands of years because it brings people together and celebrates hope and renewal. It's an excellent time of year that gives us permission to transcend our normal petty natures. We get to be kind and gentle, and care about others and do little things that let those others know we care. We get to have fun, darn it! What, your life is so full of fun you can't stand anymore?
Stop fretting over what you perceive is wrong with it. It's just stupid to turn it into a conflict or some type of litmus test that only serves to divide us. Take what you like from it and leave the rest. And let others enjoy it in their own way. There's something for everyone in Christmas. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year, it we just allow it to be. Have a holly jolly one!
Fred Tutwiler has worked with companies, individuals and athletic teams, including the 17 time NCAA Champion UNC Women's Soccer Team and the WUSA League Champion Carolina Courage. Fred, The Reality Coach, challenges non-productive views of reality. He is the author of http://www.megaginormousrules.com/pages/MGRsp2.htmlYour MEGAgiNormous Rules: The invisible rules you live by, why they keep you stuck, and what you can do about it. Download Fred's FREE e-book "Why DO We KEEP Doing The Same Thing Over And Over Even When We DON'T LIKE the Result We Get?" .
